What does it mean to be reconciled? What causes us to be enemies alienated from God? What has God done to achieve our forgiveness and what must we do to receive it? What should we do when sin alienates us from other Christians? How important are communication and forgiveness?
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Introduction:
The story of Joseph and his brothers is a bittersweet story about reconciliation. Because of jealousy, Joseph’s brothers plotted to kill him but instead sold him as a slave into Egypt.
Years later, by God’s providence, Joseph became governor of Egypt. His brothers came to Egypt to buy food during a famine. They did not recognize Joseph, but he recognized them and went to great lengths to test them to see if they had changed. Eventually he made himself known to them and they were reconciled.
The Bible has much to say about reconciliation.
2 Corinthians 5:17-21 – “Be ye reconciled to God.”
To “reconcile” means to “exchange … hostility for a friendly relationship” – Bauer-Danker-Arndt-Gingrich. Sin alienates or separates people from God. We need to cease being God’s enemies and develop peace. The gospel plan to achieve this is called “the word of reconciliation.”
Sometimes people become alienated from other people. They become enemies, no longer in friendly relations. They too need to be reconciled.
The purpose of this lesson is to study God’s plan for reconciliation.
God has a plan to reconcile people to God and a plan to reconcile people to people.
Man’s Reconciliation to God
Colossians 1:21 – Sin alienates us from God. We offended God by violating His laws (Isaiah 59:1,2). What must happen for us to be reconciled to God?
Steps Taken by the Offended Person (God)
Desire reconciliation.
Romans 5:6-11 – Though we caused the alienation, God knows our sin leads to death: eternal alienation and separation from God in torment (Romans 6:23). He loves us and wants us to be reconciled so much He sacrificed His Son for us even while we were sinners.
(Ephesians 2:4,5,16; John 3:16; 1 John 4:8-10)
Have a plan.
From eternity God purposed a means to achieve reunion. Since our sins caused the alienation, God provided a plan to forgive sin.
Ephesians 2:12-18 – This plan required Jesus to die as a sacrifice. He suffered punishment so those who were alienated could have peace and access to God: reconciliation (verses 13-18).
God wanted peace, but our conduct caused the alienation. So we will see that God’s plan requires people to choose to be reconciled and to meet conditions (we will discuss later).
(Ephesians 1:7-9; 3:5-11; Colossians 1:23; 2 Corinthians 5:18,21)
Communicate.
In order for us to know what conditions we must meet, God had to communicate with us.
2 Corinthians 5:18-20 – God communicated to man by the gospel, the “word of reconciliation.” The apostles were ambassadors on behalf of Christ, entreating all men to respond to the message.
Communication is vital to reconciliation. Peace is impossible without it.
(Colossians 1:21-23; 2 Timothy 3:16,17; John 6:44,45; Ephesians 2:17; Romans 10:17)
Forgive (when the offender meets conditions).
Ephesians 1:7 – In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins.
God’s love and mercy led Him to purpose a means whereby, despite our sins, we could be reconciled to Him. He communicated this plan in the gospel, so when we obey, we are forgiven. This removes the cause of alienation, so God and man are reconciled: made friends again.
(Romans 5:9; 2 Corinthians 5:17,19; Ephesians 2:4-22; Colossians 1:20-22)
Steps Taken by the Offender (the Guilty Party – People)
There are conditions we must meet to be reconciled. What are those steps?
Communicate.
John 6:44,45 – To come to the Father, we must hear and learn from Him. God speaks to us in the gospel, but we must be willing to learn the message that is taught.
Reconciliation requires communication on both sides. Because God desires reconciliation He revealed His plan for reconciliation, but we must be willing to learn and follow His plan.
(Colossians 1:23; 2 Corinthians 5:20; Romans 10:17; Acts 11:14)
Believe (accept the gospel including recognizing our guilt).
Romans 1:16 – The gospel is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes.
Proverbs 28:13 – Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.
God has provided the plan for reconciliation, but we must learn and believe the plan. We must believe God exists and that our sins have alienated us from Him. We must recognize our guilt and accept the gospel as the only means to be reconciled.
As long as we refuse to admit our guilt and accept the gospel, reconciliation is impossible.
(Ephesians 2:8; 4:17-19; Romans 5:12; Colossians 1:21; 2 Corinthians 5:20; Romans 8:7; James 4:4)
Repent.
We must be sorry for our sins and determine to turn from sin and obey God.
2 Corinthians 5:20 – We entreat you … be reconciled to God. We must decide. God does not force us. He provided the means, but we must choose to meet the conditions.
This decision is called “repentance.” Even if we know the gospel, we are not reconciled to God until we decide to turn from our wrong-doing and obey God. The choice is ours.
(Ephesians 4:20-24; 2 Peter 3:9; Acts 17:30; 2:38; etc.)
Seek God’s forgiveness.
How you request forgiveness depends on your circumstances.
One who is not a child of God requests forgiveness by confession and baptism.
Some people think any sinner requests forgiveness by simply praying. But note:
Romans 10:9-10 – If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
Acts 22:16 – Arise and be baptized, wash away your sins, calling on the name of the Lord.
Acts 2:38 – Repent and be baptized for the remission of sins. (Mark 16:16)
A child of God who sins must repent and pray for forgiveness.
Acts 8:22 – Repent of your wickedness, and pray God if your thought may be forgiven.
1 John 1:9 – If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
God has provided the means for sinners to be forgiven through the blood of Jesus. He communicated this plan to us in the gospel. We must listen to God’s plan, believe it, and determine to change our lives. But how we request forgiveness depends on what our relationship to God has been in the past. Have you responded to God’s plan of reconciliation?
(Ephesians 2:8-10; James 2:21-24; Colossians 1:23; 2 Corinthians 5:20; Romans 5:1,2)
Man’s Reconciliation to Man
Just as sin alienates us from God, so sin may alienate us from other people. We are discussing, not just when one person upsets another, but cases in which people sin against one another, perhaps leading to hard feelings, quarreling, and even division.
Not all problems between people involve sin, but far more do than most people will admit. When sin is involved and both parties are Christians, God has a definite plan of reconciliation.
Steps Taken by the Offended Person
Consider someone who believes another Christian has sinned against him. What must he do?
Desire reconciliation.
“Wait! He sinned against me, but I am supposed to start the process of reconciliation?” Right! If you believe the other person did the wrong, why must you want the problem resolved?
God wants peace between His people, not strife and contention.
Genesis 13:8 – Abram told Lot, “Let there be no strife between us...; for we are brethren.”
Romans 14:19 – Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace...
1 Thessalonians 5:13 – Be at peace among yourselves.
Sometimes people hold grudges year after year. God does not want this among His children. When strife occurs and continues with no effort to correct it, someone is in sin.
(Proverbs 20:3; 10:12; 17:19; 18:6; 2 Corinthians 12:20; Galatians 5:20; 1 Corinthians 3:3; Ephesians 4:3; James 3:17ff)
God requires Christians to love one another like He loves us.
1 John 4:11; 3:16 – We must love as He loves us. His love led Him to seek reconciliation.
Some members think, “He sinned against me. If he wants the problem solved, let him come to me!” Is that loving your brother like God loves us? Though God did no wrong, He initiated reconciliation. Sometimes brethren remain alienated simply because no one seeks a solution!
Has someone wronged you: brother/sister, parent/child, husband/wife? Do you love them and desire reconciliation like God loves? Are you willing to sacrifice to achieve it? We will see that the sinner needs to meet conditions, but you must want reconciliation and be willing to initiate it.
Have a plan.
Actually God has already provided the plan. We need to learn and follow it.
Luke 17:3,4 – If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. Is that hard to understand? No, it is just hard to do! But God commands it, just like He commands baptism, the Lord’s supper, moral purity, etc. Do you believe in obeying God’s commands?
Matthew 18:15-17 – What if the initial effort toward reconciliation does not work? Then take one or two others and try again. If that does not work, take it to the church, then withdraw.
Why do so many fail to do what these verses teach? Some do not know about them. But most Christians know these verses are in the Bible. Yet when we are alienated from a brother we somehow think these verses do not apply. May we excuse ourselves from God’s commands?
God has a plan for our reconciliation. Note what it further requires:
Communicate.
The one who believes he has been wronged must communicate with the one who did wrong.
Luke 17:3 – If your brother sins, rebuke him.
Matthew 18:15 – If your brother sins against you, go show him his fault.
Often brethren do everything except what these verses say. They fuss, ignore the person, refuse to associate, talk to everyone else, quit attending services, or cause strife and division. Or they ask the preacher or elders to talk to the sinner! None of this is what the verse says to do.
If someone tells you some brother sinned against them, ask them if they have talked with the brother about it. If not, read these passages to them.
These verses refer to a personal and private sin: one that two people alone can resolve. If the sin directly involves more people, they may be involved in the discussions to resolve the problem (Galatians 2:11-14).
Leviticus 19:17,18 – Do not hate your brother in your heart, seek vengeance, or hold a grudge. Instead, rebuke him. This is part of loving your neighbor as yourself. To fail to go talk to a brother who has sinned against you is to bear sin because of him. He committed the sin, but you bear sin because you do not rebuke him.
If your brother has endangered his soul, love requires you to talk to him. If what he did was not a sin, you may choose to be peaceable and forget it. But if it is sin, and you love the brother’s soul, talk to him. If that does not solve the problem, take the next steps as in Matthew 18:15-17.
(Proverbs 25:12; 27:5,6; 9:8; James 5:19,20; Galatians 6:1; 1 Timothy 5:20; 2 Timothy 4:2)
Forgive.
Luke 17:3,4 – If he repents, forgive him. If he comes and asks forgiveness seven times a day, forgive him.
Matthew 18:21-35 – Forgive seventy times seven. Like the servant who was forgiven but would not forgive another servant, so God will not forgive us if we do not forgive others.
We will see that the sinner must meet conditions to be forgiven. Yet sometimes a sinner truly repents and asks forgiveness, but the one who was wronged refuses to grant it. Or he continues to bring the matter up to embarrass or manipulate the sinner. This is simply a form of vengeance.
When people sin against us, we must follow God’s plan for reconciliation. Then we must forgive like we want God to forgive us. If we refuse, then we become one guilty of wrong.
Steps Taken by the One Who Did the Wrong
Communicate.
The one who is accused must be willing to honestly consider the accusation.
Matthew 18:15 – “If your brother hears you, you have gained your brother.” “Hearing” involves more than just listening. But if we refuse even to discuss an accusation, we have surely not “heard” our brother. This obligates him to take the next step.
Proverbs 15:31,32 – The ear that hears the rebukes of life will abide among the wise. He who disdains instruction despises his own soul, but he who heeds rebuke gets understanding.
God’s servants should discuss their differences. If a brother has a sincere Biblical accusation against me, I should be willing to honestly listen. If he can help me serve God better, I should want to know about it.
(Proverbs 12:1; 13:18; 9:8,9; 6:23; 29:1; 10:17)
If we know a brother has something against us, we must go to him.
Matthew 5:23,24 – We must seek reconciliation with the one who has something against us.
Note that communication is necessary for both parties. Both the one who believes wrong has been done to him and the one who is accused are obligated to initiate the contact. If either refuses to discuss the matter, they become guilty of sin simply for refusing to discuss.
John 3:19-21 – Refusal to discuss an accusation in an indication of guilt.
Believe the truth.
Proverbs 10:17 – He who keeps instruction is in the way of life, but he who refuses correction goes astray. Not only should we listen to Scriptural rebuke, but we should be willing to apply it to our lives. If someone can show by the Bible that we are wrong, we should admit the error.
God never wrongfully accuses since He always knows the facts and applies His word properly. But when people make accusations, the accused may be guilty or the accuser may be wrong or both may have sinned or neither may be guilty. The purpose of discussion must be to determine the truth. Whoever sinned must be willing to believe what God’s word says about his conduct.
Repent.
Luke 17:3,4 – The brother who sinned should be forgiven when he repents. He must recognize his error and truly determine in his heart to change.
It is possible that, after truly repenting, he may sin again (seven times in a day). But each time he must truly determine to cease the wrong.
Seek forgiveness.
The one who did wrong must confess the wrong and ask forgiveness. Apologize.
Luke 17:3,4 – He must come and say, “I repent.” Until the sinner does this, the other party has no way to know he should forgive. (Proverbs 28:13)
James 5:16 – Confess your faults one to another and pray for one another.
Sometimes if others did what we did, we could see that they were wrong. But we may be too proud to admit guilt. We may even refuse to admit it when in our hearts we know it is true.
The passages say to confess the wrong if we want forgiveness. Then we can work with the brother whom we wronged to restore the relationship.
Conclusion
Compare the patterns. When discussing God’s forgiveness, how many of us would agree to change or fail to follow the pattern? What about the pattern for resolving differences between brethren. Are we as diligent to follow that pattern? Do we insist on teaching and obeying it?
Do you need to be reconciled to God? to your brethren? to your wife or husband or children? God has provided the means and the plan. He is willing to forgive, and He has commanded you to work for reconciliation with others. Are you willing to do your part?
(c) Copyright David E. Pratte, 2024; gospelway.com
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