(This article is a sequel to our article on God's Plan for the Family. Please read that article before proceeding.)
Having
a basic understanding of the marriage covenant, let us consider various
specific forms of sexual immorality. This will increase our
understanding and appreciation of that law and will show us how sexual
immorality relates to the marriage law.
A. Efforts to Abolish or Transform the Fundamental Nature of Marriage
===========================================
Many
feminist and humanist leaders wish to completely destroy the concept of
marriage as revealed in the Bible. Some wish for men and women to make
no commitments of any kind. Others propose a temporary renewable
contract. Children would be raised by government agencies or by whomever
the child prefers.
"Marriage has existed for the
benefit of men and has been a legally sanctioned method of control over
women ... Male society has sold us the idea of marriage ... In the past
we women have been afraid to admit that marriage wasn't all it was
cracked up to be because it meant we had failed. Now we know it is the
institution that has failed us and we must work to destroy it ... The
end of the institution of marriage is a necessary condition for the
liberation of women. Therefore it is important for us to encourage women
to leave their husbands and not to live individually with men" -- The
Document: Declaration of Feminism, pp. 11-12.
"For the
sake of those who wish to live in equal partnership, we have to abolish
and reform the institution of legal marriage" -- Gloria Steinem, editor
of MS., in a speech at the IWY conference in Houston, Texas (reported in
"To Manipulate a Woman").
Ti-Grace Atkinson, former
president of NOW, "seeks to eliminate sex, marriage, motherhood and
love, claiming that marriage is legalized servitude. That male-female
relationship is the basis for all human oppression" (quoted in "To
Manipulate a Woman").
All of this clearly contradicts
God's plan for marriage. The Bible says that marriage was instituted by
God, not by men (Gen. 2:18-24). It is designed for the good of all
people, not so that one group of people may oppress of others. Like
everything that God made, marriage was created "very good" (Gen.
1:26-28,31; 2:18,24).
Further, human reproduction is
good only in marriage (Gen. 2:24; Heb. 13:4; I Cor. 7:1-9). If marriage
is abolished, the human race would be left with no morally upright means
of reproducing itself!
Those who seek to abolish
marriage are flatly denying the message of the Bible. If we accept the
Bible as true, we must reject the views of those who would abolish or
modify the marriage concept.
B. Adultery and Fornication
=================
Fornication
refers to sexual relations between two people who are not married to
one another. Adultery involves relations in which one or both parties
are married, but not to one another.
Multitudes of
people are living together outside of marriage. Some say marriage is
"just a piece of paper," a legal formality. Others have a trial
marriage," saying they want to know if it will work before they make a
commitment. Others justify sexual relations for those who are just
dating as long as they care for one another and have a meaningful
relationship. Still others get married and then cheat on their spouse.
I
Corinthians 6:16-18 -- Fornication is wrong because it constitutes
being "one flesh" with someone other than your lawful spouse. It
violates God's intent for marriage.
Hebrews 13:4 -- The
marriage covenant includes the right and obligation to have the sexual
union ONLY with the companion to whom we have Scripturally made the
marriage commitment. To have relations with anyone else is "fornication"
or "adultery." [Ezek. 23; Jer. 3; Prov. 5:15-20; 6:29,32; 7:18-20;
Ezek. 16:32; I Cor. 5:9,10]
I COR. 7:2-5 -- To avoid
FORNICATION, one is to satisfy the sexual desire with and only with "his
own wife" or "husband." Our own marriage companion is the only one who
has power over our body. This attitude makes the sexual relationship a
beautiful expression of love and devotion for the one person with whom
we have chosen to live for a lifetime. If we satisfy this desire with
anyone else, it is fornication and destroys the beauty of the sexual
union. [Jude 7]
I COR. 6:9-11 -- The Corinthians had
been fornicators, adulterers, etc. Those who practice this cannot
inherit the kingdom of God unless, like the Corinthians they cease the
practice and are forgiven by God. [Col. 3:5-10; I Tim. 1:9-11]
Sexual
relations before marriage are wrong, no matter how much we care for the
other person, because we are not saving ourselves for marriage. In
addition, we run the risk of having a child outside of wedlock, outside
the relationship that God designed for the raising of children. It is
the disregard for this principle that leads to millions of babies being
born every year outside wedlock and millions more being murdered by
abortion because they were conceived outside wedlock.
C. Divorce and Remarriage
=================
According
to the National Center for Health Statistics, in 1981 there were
exactly half as many divorces as marriages (Christian Inquirer, 6/82).
This is a major problem leading to much heartache for all who are
involved, especially the children.
According to the
National Family Reporter, about one of every five children under age 18
is living with just one parent (as a result of divorce and
illegitimacy). Many children are living with at least one step-parent as
a result of divorce and remarriage (7/82). Thousands of children are
being raised by someone other than their natural parents, as God
planned.
Matthew 19:3-9 [cf. Mark 10:2-12; Lk. 16:18]
********************************************
Jesus
was asked whether divorce can properly be obtained for just any reason a
person might come up with. By appealing to the original marriage law He
showed that God intended marriage to be a lifetime commitment. Breaking
the marriage bond while our companion is still alive is contrary to His
plan.
Divorce itself, in general, is contrary to God's
will. God made one man for one woman. He said they should cleave to one
another and the TWO become ONE -- there is no room in God's plan for a
THIRD party. God joins the man and woman, no human has the right to
break that bond.
Further, whoever divorces his wife
and marries again commits adultery unless he divorces her because she
has been guilty of fornication. And whoever marries her who has been
divorced also commits adultery.
Note that divorce and
remarriage, on grounds other than fornication, is called "adultery"? God
JOINS a man and woman in marriage by witnessing their marriage covenant
and holding them to it. He forbids their changing their mind and says
no man can put their marriage asunder.
So, if man puts
away his wife and marries another, he is having the sexual union with a
second wife while God still holds him obligated to his covenant to have
the sexual union only with his first wife. The sexual relationship in
the second marriage is adultery, and it will continue to be adultery
every time they have the sexual relationship, because God has still
"joined" them to their first spouse and He will not "put asunder" that
bond.
Unlike the Mosaic Law, which Jesus admits
tolerated divorce and remarriage for other causes, Jesus' teaching
allows ONE and ONLY ONE cause -- if ones spouse has committed
fornication. Then the only one who is granted the right to divorce and
remarry without being guilty of sin is the one who has been sinned
against by his/her companion who committed fornication. [Cf. Matthew
5:31,32]
Other passages
************
Romans
7:2,3 -- A married woman is bound by law to her husband as long as he
lives (cf. I Cor. 7:39). She is free to remarry without guilt only if
her husband is dead. The marriage "bond" is a LIFETIME covenant
COMMITMENT, and God holds people to the commitment they made, even if
later they try to break it.
That is why a woman is
guilty of ADULTERY if she is married to another man. This woman is an
"adulteress" because she has been joined in a marriage covenant with one
man, and God holds her to that covenant for life. But she is having
sexual relations with another man, and that, by definition, is adultery.
This is true AS LONG AS HER FIRST COMPANION IS LIVING.
I
Corinthians 7:10,11 -- A married woman should not depart from her
husband nor he from her. Again, divorce itself is not the will of God.
But if divorce has occurred, she must remain unmarried or else be
reconciled to her husband. Neither remarrying nor remaining in a
remarriage is a scriptural alternative.
Divorce does
not free her from her bond or covenant obligation to her first husband.
Her only choice is to be reconciled to her husband (the one God
recognizes) or else remain unmarried.
The teaching of
the gospel on this point is considered very strict by most people.
Jesus' own disciples considered it very strict (Matt. 19:10-12), but
Jesus did not compromise it or apologize for it in spite of their
opinions. He continued to teach and defend it and so must we.
D. Homosexuality
===========
Homosexuality
is another form of sexual conduct that is becoming more and more widely
accepted in our society. Speak out against it in almost any public
forum and you will be opposed and ridiculed. But God's word still speaks
on the subject.
Leviticus 18:22,23; 20:13,15,16 --
Under the Old Testament, a man lying with another man (or with an
animal) was an abomination, and they were both to be put to death.
The
term "lie" uses an older meaning of the word, referring to the sexual
union. This is made clear by the expression "if a man lie with mankind
as with womankind." [Cf. Gen. 19:1-11]
I Corinthians
6:9-11; I Timothy 1:9-11 -- "Abusing oneself with mankind" is listed
along with other sins that are "contrary to the gospel" and cause people
not to inherit the kingdom of God (note also "effeminate"). This
expression definitely refers to homosexuality, and the phrase is so
translated in virtually all modern translations. (See also Thayer and
other Greek dictionaries.)
Romans 1:26,27 -- People are
here described who refused to properly honor God, so they soon became
involved in gross immorality involving improper use of their bodies
(v20-25). Instead of having a natural desire for a woman, men burned in
lust toward other men. This clearly refers to homosexuality, for it is a
desire which is natural toward a woman, but not natural toward a man.
This is condemned as "vile affections," "unseemly," and "error." It is
classed with all kinds of other immoralities which lead to spiritual
death (v28-32).
Again, God's intent for marriage
involves sexual union between male and female (man and woman) within the
marriage union (Gen. 1:26-28; 2:18-24). God created a woman for the man
to be his companion. He did not create another man. A marriage between
two men or between two women would be a perversion of God's plan. From
the beginning of creation it has been God's intent for man and woman to
satisfy their sexual desires with one of the opposite sex, not one of
the same sex (Heb. 13:4; I Cor. 7:2-5; etc.).
Homosexuality
is not a "mental illness" nor an overwhelming inherited desire which
people cannot control. It is a form of immorality, just like
drunkenness, adultery, murder, or stealing, for which people will be
held accountable at the judgment day (2 Cor. 5:10; Ecc. 12:13,14).
E. Pornography
==========
Pornography
is an $8 billion industry in America, according to the Attorney
General's Commission on Pornography (via Congressman Dan Coats in the
Ft. Wayne Journal Gazette).
Pornography is another form
of sexual activity that is rampant in our society. We have X-rated
movies, magazines, bookstores, and stage shows. And much of what is
shown on TV may never be called pornography, but that is exactly what it
is.
What is modern pornography about?
******************************
Many
people think pornography is just pictures of inadequately clothed
women. That is now shown in TV programs and R-rated movies. Porn in
"adult bookstores" and X-rated theaters has moved far beyond that. It is
so corrupt it is hard to describe, yet if it is not somehow described
people will never understand how urgent it is to oppose it.
According
to the 1986 Attorney General's Commission on Pornography, modern porn
now emphasizes depictions of actual sex acts, violent sex, rape,
bestiality, homosexuality, group sex, and sexual acts with children.
Judith
Reisman studied nearly 700 issues of Playboy, Penthouse, and Hustler --
so-called soft porn. She found 6000 depictions of children -- an
average of 8 or 9 per magazine. The majority of them showed children in
sexual or violent situations (Gospel Anchor, 8/87)
Henry
Boatwright, Chairman of the U.S. Advisory Board for Social Concerns,
claims that 70% of the adult porn sold ends up in the hands of minors
(Christian Inquirer, 11/84).
One survey showed that 55%
of the men in prison for rape and 35% of those imprisoned for other
serious sex crimes, said that pornography led to their crimes (Truth
Magazine, 5/1/80.)
What is wrong with pornography?
****************************
A
fundamental Bible principle, emphasized over and over again, is that
God wants us to avoid activities that tempt to sin. We should not,
simply for the sake of our own pleasure, knowingly do things that
encourage ourselves or others to sin.
Specifically, in
sexual matters, the Bible shows that, not only is it wrong to commit the
physical act of fornication or adultery, it is also wrong to dwell on
that act in our mind, desiring to do it with someone we are not married
to. And likewise it is wrong to see or fantasize about seeing someone of
the opposite sex indecently unclothed.
Proverbs 4:23
-- Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it {spring} the issues
of life. Major decisions of right and wrong are made in the heart. To
make sure we decide properly, we must protect our heart -- avoid the
influences that lead us to want to do wrong. [Matt. 5:8; 6:13; Rom.
13:14; Proverbs 6:27; I Cor. 15:33; Prov. 13:20; 5:8; Jas. 4:4; 2 Cor.
6:17-7:1]
Matt. 18:6-9 -- Jesus warns us to not tempt
others (v6,7), then He warns us to avoid ALLOWING OURSELVES to be
tempted. We should cut off our foot, hand, or eye rather than allow them
to tempt us to sin. This is not literal, but is an extreme way of
showing us how important it is to avoid sin. And we avoid it by getting
rid of what tempts us -- people and circumstances, etc.
Gen.
39:7-12 -- Joseph in Potiphar's house illustrates the point. Potiphar's
wife tempted Joseph to adultery. He refused. She continued to tempt, so
he refused to BE AROUND HER. [Prov. 22:3]
Matthew
5:27,28 -- Whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already
committed adultery with her in his heart. A person should not only avoid
physical sexual union with someone other than his Scriptural spouse, he
should also avoid "fantasizing" about improper sexual activities with
someone other than his spouse. If it would be wrong to do the act, then
it would be wrong to take pleasure in thinking about the act.
Proverbs 6:25 -- Do not lust after her beauty in your heart, nor let her allure you with her eyelids. [Ex. 20:17]
This
is not teaching that we sin every time an evil thought comes to our
minds. The coming of the thought is the TEMPTATION, just like the
thought that we should steal something, hurt somebody, etc. Whether or
not we sin depends on how we react to the thought. If we enjoy the
thought, feed it, encourage it, deliberately continue it, that is sin.
If we reject the thought as evil and strive to reject it, we were
tempted but resisted the temptation.
Phil. 4:8 -- We
should meditate on things PURE, VIRTUOUS, praiseworthy, etc. We should
examine our thoughts as to whether or not they would be the kind of
thoughts that Jesus would entertain. If not, then we should not
entertain them, but eliminate them and think on pure things. [Col. 3:2;
Phil. 3:19; 2:5]
A number of passages warn against activities that are "lascivious or licentious."
Mark
7:21-23 -- Jesus lists things that come from within the heart of man
and defile the man. Included is licentiousness/lasciviousness.
Rom.
13:13,14 -- We are to walk properly, making no provision to fulfill the
lust of the flesh. This requires us to avoid licentiousness. [Gal.
5:19-21; I Pet. 4:1-4; 2 Cor. 12:21; Eph. 5:19; 2 Pet. 2:2,7,18; Jude 4]
These
words are defined as follows: "arousing or exciting sexual desire,"
"inclined to, characterized by, or inciting to lust," "obscene or
indecent," "[sexually] suggestive," "causing or intended to cause sexual
excitement or lust."
The application to pornography is
that clearly it is the very purpose of pornographic material to put
sexually suggestive thoughts in people's minds. Fantasizing on sexual
activities with someone other than our lawful spouse is the very essence
of what pornography is about.
Many people can see that
pornography is wrong because it is an obvious application of these
principles. However, there are many other activities that are sexually
suggestive in their nature, but many people do not realize they are
wrong because they are not as extreme. The fact is, however, that they
violate the very same principles we have been discussing.
When
you understand the underlying principles why pornography is wrong, then
you understand why all the following are wrong: suggestive jokes and
language, dancing, sexually suggestive music, TV programs and movies,
indecent apparel, and much of the clothing that people wear in
recreational activities such as swimming, cheer leading, and some sports
activities.
In fact just spending time in private
with someone of the opposite sex when we or they are married to someone
else, can be a dangerous situation. Many people have ended up in sin
because they developed an attachment to a person because of time spent
in private or intimate discussion.
The fact that
people may not intend to be sexually suggestive does not change the
effect of the act. We need to be constantly on guard for that which can
lead to sin intentionally or unintentionally.
Conclusion
=======
The
decline of this nation is sexual morality can be clearly illustrated by
three recent situations that made the national headlines. Just look at
the depths to which our society has fallen:
One man becomes President, it is clearly known that he has many mistresses, but many people respond that they just don't care!
At
the same time another man runs for high government office and he has
the courage to suggest that Murphy Brown is a poor role model because
she committed fornication and had a child out of wedlock. For that he is
verbally tarred and feathered by the media!
Then a
famous basketball star publicly admits he has the AIDS virus as the
consequence of years of sexual promiscuity. And the media makes a
national hero of him!
And then these same people
express dismay and wonder why we have an epidemic of venereal disease,
premarital pregnancy, and children born outside wedlock! No wonder the
morals of our society are in the gutter!
The solution
is to respect God's plan for marriage both before we marry and after.
Let us appreciate and maintain the beauty of marital love by keeping our
hearts, our words, and our deeds pure until marriage. Then, on our
wedding day we can present a pure vessel to our marriage companion as
our expression of marital love and commitment.
Let us
then maintain that purity after marriage by keeping our marriage vows
and expressing sexual love only to our spouse as long as we both shall
live. And let us teach our children that this is God's plan and that it
is the only truly happy way to enjoy marital bliss.
(c)
Copyright 1999, 2012 by David E. Pratte - We copyright our material,
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